Yad Gnitnioppasid A

Ain't today the day I looking forward the most?

Have you ever had this experient that the day you most looking forward to, the one you felt excited for it, was actually turned out to be a day you would wish you never had before?

Even the most optimistic man would turns pessimist.

Looked forward to the day, even thought some of my friends can't make it to the school, I was thought that it would be great as well as I could concentrate on her company. Well, it wasn't my day really. Searching for her up and down left and right inside and outside of the school, from round table to reading corner, turns to the hall and then to block D, from block D went to block E incase she's in her sister's classroom? Come back down and back to the reading corner, I shan't continue this, to know my whole journey, you just have to repeatedly reading this passage for 3 times.

So sure that she wasn't in the school anymore, I went out of school, to the place she always waited for her van, then to every single restaurant nearby, the Kanna Curry House, the Ipoh Chicken Rice, and, I don't know.

Well, glad to get her sister's sms that she has already home. Well it was disappointing but it was nothing compare to what happened after 2 hours.

She went back to school, mayb I was wearing an invisible suit, she just said hi and bye to me, then walked around at the side of the hall. Was thinking, was I really invisible to her? Does she knows that I was there just to meet her? I couldn't stop myself from thinking too much, I myself giving her excuses to tell myself that, her mum was near, can't talk to me. Well after another 20 minutes I waited, wait, I was really waiting. Sitting there looking at the path she took around the hall, praying that she would turns to me and at lease say a word, I cant really control my emotion anymore. I called her and I made her day bad, with my harsh words and violent reaction.

Really disappointed, not just to her, to myself as well as I couldn't couldn't couldn't control myself well. My mind wasn't with me and what I want was the explanation, what I want was whether am I really invisible to her. I couldn't felt anything besides pain, besides disappointment and hurts.

Finally I understand what's my other friend's PM means, it says that, the more effort you put in, when you fall, the more pain you will feel. And guess what, I fell today, a hard one.

The worse thing is, I can't let my parents know that I am sad. They would be even sad-ier than me if they know my feeling. Cried in my car on the way back, and forced a smile on my face, telling them I had a great day celebrating teacher's day today.

Having already promised her that I wouldn't be hot tempered anymore, would control myself well, but when I am sad, I forgotten everything.

Really feel bad for her now.

Sorry for today.
But I was really, sad.

Well, and so the supposingly-happy day ended. The sad way.